Everything.

Every single bad thing happened, it's because of my faults. That's all.

One after another

Things keep happening.
I try hard to not feel any sorrow.
But tears keep rolling down.
Maybe not hard enough.

It happens so often.
Until I think I'm better be dead.
But it's not what my faith taught me.
This is just a test for me.

It's a sign for me to be closer to The Creator.
It's a sign for me to be more sincere.
It's a sign for me to appreciate everyone.
I need to change.

The reason..

I'm selfish.

All I can think about is myself, my feelings and my needs.

Not you.

A whole 'new' me

What do you mean by "'new'"?
I will not be the same me. No nagging, no pushing, no more being sarcastic.

Is it hard to change?
Yes.

What make you want to change?
Him.

Do you want to change?
No.

Then, why do you decided to change anyway?
Because I don't want any trouble between us anymore. I'm tired of fighting.

Did he said anything that hurts your feelings?
Yes, but all he said is true. I love to make things worse. Even a small matter.